WE’VE MOVED …

Please come and join us at our new Leading and Loving It site for Pastors’ Wives and Women in Ministry. You can visit us by clicking here.

Almost Moving Day …

We’ve got everything loaded … and we are counting down the hours until our move.

We can’t wait for you to see our new Virtual Gatherings page and Registration system.

And our media page, where we will be able to put helpful videos.

And our little surprise hidden amongst the Virtual Gatherings.

Oh yes … we are quite excited.

Just a few things:

1. Thebuckeyemom kindly reminded me that blogrolls would need to be updated. So if we are on your blogroll, would you mind updating it to http://leadingandlovingit.com? Thanks, that would be excellent.

2. You’ll also need to update your RSS feeds or your subscription. That can be easily done once the site launches.

3. Get ready for a post-launch Twitter and Facebook blitz. We would really appreciate any RTs, copies, and link-forwarding that you would do. Thanks in advance for that.

Alrighty … I hope someone brought along some yummy snacks … let’s get ready to get our move on.

On the Move …

We’re packing up the boxes and moving.

Friday is moving day for Leading and Loving It.

On Friday, our new site around here launches. We will kiss this little WordPress blog goodbye and move to a self-hosted wordpress blog.

We are very excited about the new things that  it will allow us to offer you ladies.

But … we need you guys to pack up and move with us. If you are currently subscribed to this blog, you’ll need to resubscribe to the new site once it launches at http://leadingandlovingit.com

And we would love it if you would help us get the word out. You will probably notice a Twitter and Facebook blitz over the weekend. So if you could help us by retweeting and passing info along that would be fabulous!

We’ll give you some more details tomorrow.

But please pray for as us as we are preparing for this exciting move!

One Thing…

Posted by Brandi Wilson

Last week Pete and I blogged for our friends Justin and Trisha Davis. We were honored to be on the list with some really impressive couples during their series entitled “One Thing.”  The theme of each post was centered around this question: “What is one thing you know NOW that you wish you would have known before you got married?”  What we submitted is below… but more importantly I’d love to hear your answer as a pastor’s wife.

We embarked on this road called marriage 13 years ago and what journey it’s been.  We’re like a lot of you.  The boy hit on girl in college, the girl played hard to get, the boy kept pursueing girl, girl finally gave in and they quickly became inseparable.  Our evenings included late night phone calls where we thought we’d never run out of things to talk about.  We spent the wee hours of night curled up in a blanket sharing the dreams of our future under our favorite oak tree.

Communication was so effortless in those early days… then “life” started.  We both began new jobs, started a church and married all by the age of 22.  The days of staying up late and dreaming together were few and far between.  It seemed everyone needed something from us that always took priority over one another.

Our communication went from effortless to non-existent.  We weren’t prepared for healthy marital communication to require work.  We never expected communication to be a vital aspect of our marriage that required so much intentionality… so much deliberateness.

Leaving healthy communication out of our marriage quickly put us on two parallel paths rather than a united journey.

One thing we wish we had been told before going into our marriage is that marriage will always take work, communication always has to be intentional.  Even after 13 years of marriage we work hard… we believe our marriage is a priority and take the time to sit down and talk together.

The communication factor in our marriage will always be an issue, we’ll never perfect it.  However, we’re both aware of our shortcomings and for us awareness is half the battle.

Now it’s your turn… what is one thing you know NOW that you wish you would have known before you married a pastor?

Through the Eyes of … the Young Adult Pastor’s Wife

Today, you get to meet Tiffany. I know you’re going to love hearing from her. Make sure to check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

What is your role in leadership/ministry?

I am the wife of Dan Harper, the Young Adults Pastor at Knott Avenue Christian Church in Anaheim California. Our Ministry is called Illuminate.

What is your favorite thing about your role?

I get to work alongside Dan with some of the most passionate people I have ever come across.  College students and Young Adults are anxious to be apart of something … and it is awesome to see them love God and reach out to others in their community and tell them about Christ.

What is the most challenging thing?

Right now I am a mommy to two young children.  I want so desperately to do a lot more with Illuminate, but I have to be careful that my family is not neglected.

What do you wish someone had told you before you started in your area of leadership/ministry?

Balance.  And to not feel like you have to do every activity/ministry just because your husband is on staff.  They hired him, not me.  Support your husband and take care of your family. Those are things I have learned through experience.

What do you wish others in leadership knew about your specific area?

College and young adults are often neglected when it comes to church. Often there are no ministries targeting this age group. Whether it is due to size or location I am not sure. They say somewhere around 70% of those who graduate from high school stop attending church at around 18-22 years of age.  We are finding that these students really want to be apart of something big. They want to see God move in their lives and they want to be apart of changing the world. I love that. I want to continue seeing these guys doing something big. I want to see their lives radically transformed by Christ. That never gets old.

How has God used your leadership to grow and change you?

I definitely feel as though God has shifted my heart around to focus more on Him and giving Him all the glory.  I used to get so frustrated when I would see other groups growing and doing awesome things at church.  And then God reminded me that He placed Dan and I at Knott for a reason. We aren’t as big as some of the other groups in Southern California….but we have some amazing kids. And I am so thankful for the kids we have and how much they love Him. And since then we have grown.  All in God’s timing.

For those in ministry, what does a typical weekend look like for you?

Saturday is our only family day. Unless Dan has to work at the Saturday evening service we basically spend that day together.  Sunday is a workday. Dan is up early and heads to Knott.  Then we have Illuminate at 6:00pm Sunday evening.

If you could pass one little piece of wisdom to someone else in the same leadership role, what would it be?

Enjoy ministry.  It is one of the few jobs where a husband and wife get to be a team and work together.  It is hard sometimes and you can have very busy seasons…but we are so fortunate that God allows us on the front lines like this.

How do you make sure that integrity is being maintained in your leadership? How do you grow and develop in your leadership?

We love our leaders!  I make it a point to befriend our female leaders and try to be available whenever possible. Dan does the same thing with our men. We meet with them and give them resources on leadership in order to help them grow spiritually and in leadership.  They are excited about the opportunity to lead and we want to help them.  We also really stress how important it is for them to spend time with God.  We help them create a schedule so they can see where their hours are spent.  Leaders (especially when you deal with college and young adult) can sometimes feel they don’t have a lot of time to spend reading or studying. But when they look at their schedule on paper, they realize they have way more time than they thought!

How do you meet the needs specific to the people in your town, city, circle of influence?

Our church is located in a more urban setting.  We are definitely not what you would call white collar.  That being said, Illuminate really feels a growing desire and need to reach out to our community more.  Knott Avenue hosts weekly meals for those who are without homes or resources to get food.  I feel we can do so much more. Our goal at Illuminate is to reach more of our urban brothers and sisters and invite them to our group.  I cannot tell you how much it hurts me to see people walking the street while we have services going on right across from them.  We need them to come in so they can hear what Jesus did at the cross.  But we also need to go out to them and love them. We are in the process of creating opportunities to go outside of our safe little group and talk with them.  I can’t wait to see what God does when we finally go out.

What’s Your Flavor … Collections

My Emma collects snowglobes.

My Ethan oddly collects actual globes.

Me … well … I don’t purposely collect anything. But I have noticed that I’ve unconsciously complied quite a collection of t-shirts.

I have awesome t-shirts ranging from Battlestar Galactica to The Office Fun Run. From Twilight to Wonder Woman. And some cool ones in between.

What do you collect?

Murder Mystery Night

Posted by Lori

Every few months, I get together with our Pastors Wives and ladies on staff at Central.

We’ve Raced, and we’ve Blasted from the Past. And Monday night we put our detective caps on and did a little mystery solving. The mystery: Who killed King Henry VIII?

Our mystery was set in a library, so we each became different literary characters. I, of course, was Elinor from Sense and Sensibility because Jane Austen + Hugh Grant = pure deliciousness.

But I digress.

To top it off, we had beautiful chocolate fountains and prizes. Because it can’t really be a fun party without chocolate and prizes. Am I right?!

But best of all, we just got to be together. We laughed and chatted. And hopefully they felt valued and appreciated.

We have the best staff and staff wives out there! Love you ladies!

Now, on to planning our next event. Any ideas?

10 Words or Less …

Posted by: Lori

We’ve done this before, but again you’ve been on my mind a bunch lately.

My heart is continually burdened for pastor’s wives. I just love you guys!

So, in 10 words or less, I’d love to know how you are doing …. in life or in leadership.

Whether you are tired or refreshed, overjoyed or overwhelmed, let me know. You can always leave comments anonymously or email me at leadingandlovingit@me.com

I just want to know how I can pray for you.

So … in 10 words or less …

Just A Little Encouragement…

Posted by Brandi

My family loves the Winter Olympics.  Each night we sit in front of the TV eagerly watching the competition, cheering on team USA, and even shedding a few tears over the stories behind the athletes.  As I type, my 8 year-old is using the Olympics App on my phone to see when we can watch Seth Wescott race for the gold in snowboarding.  Later in the week we’ll reenact all the action on our “Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics Games” for the Wii.

The excitement of the Olympics always keeps this passage at the forefront of my mind.

1 Corinthians 9:24-28:
^{24 -25}You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.

^{26 -27}I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

One of our main purposes here at Leading and Loving It is to bring each of you encouragement.  You’re each running a race… the all important race.  Some days your training is strenuous and exhausting.  Other days are full of rewards which help keep us focused and motivated.

We hope each of you know the Leading and Loving It team lifts you up in prayers of thankfulness.  We pray for your strength and your endurance, your focus and your attitude.  We are a community dedicated to you.  We celebrate alongside you and grieve with you during difficult times.  We’re on the same team working toward the same goal.

And by the way… What’s your favorite Winter Olympic sport?  We love the Snowboard Cross.  The Westcott gold medal win had us on the edge of our seats.

Through the Eyes of … the Non-Profit Founder

Meet Jan Owen, the founder of the Give Worship Project. You can learn more from Jan on her blog. I know you’ll enjoy getting to read about her new adventures as she helps church leaders in developing countries.

1. What is your role in leadership/ministry?

I’ve spent the past 15 years serving as a Worship Pastor, but this past fall I resigned my position and founded a non-profit missions organization called the Give Worship Project, Inc. It’s purpose is to help equip and resource indigenous church and worship leaders around the world. So after many years of working in one local church, I now work in local churches worldwide, teaching, training and consulting, particularly in the area of worship and spiritual leadership. And I still lead worship sometimes too!

2. What is your favorite thing about your role?

Getting to worship with the Body of Christ around the world and see firsthand how God is work around the globe.

3. What is the most challenging thing?

Raising money and all the legal stuff. I don’t enjoy that pressure although I do enjoy seeing someone get excited about partnering with us. I enjoy sharing the vision, sharing about how churches here can help under-resourced churches and leaders other places. And I love seeing someone’s eyes light up when I share how their gift was used. An additional challenge is never having any idea what to expect when I go to teach. Each experience is so different. I never feel really prepared.

4. What do you wish someone had told you before you started in your area of leadership/ministry?

How lonely it would be. I’m a people person. I thrive in the company of others and I work best with a team. To do a huge amount of my work – at this current time – alone, is very hard. To leave working on staff, with a team, in one local church and to begin working at home alone has been a difficult emotional transition for me that has been filled with grief even though I am pursuing a dream I know God has called me to. I can’t wait for the day when I can say once again: “let’s do this TOGETHER.”

5. What do you wish others in leadership knew about your specific area?

How needful it is. I wish they understood that there are many other leaders around the world just like them who don’t have the opportunities they do. I continue to pray that leaders here in the U.S. will see that they have an opportunity to share the wealth they have and partner with a leader and church, to help encourage and equip them. And sometimes I wish that I could have more opportunities to share with leaders here in the U.S. I believe they may be able to learn much from what I’ve experienced and what I’ve observed.

6. How has God used your leadership to grow and change you?

Oh my. Let’s see. I wrote a book about that. Seriously. It’s not published, but I did write an entire book on this subject. To be honest, I encountered some tragic circumstances in vocational ministry that broke me. They broke my heart, my spirit, my will. I literally got to the point that one day I could not quit crying and I begged my husband to not make me go back to church. That was a pivotal point for me as a child of God who just happened to be a leader in the church. And that brokenness led me to pursue God like never before……I encountered God in that low, low place and came out a different woman. I hope I’m wiser, more compassionate, more loving, and more aware of who I am in Christ. Leadership has – like parenthood – taught me how little I know, and how much I desperately need Christ. It’s also stretched me beyond my wildest imaginings……..I never dreamed I’d do all I’ve done.

7. How do you make sure that integrity is being maintained in your leadership?

When I was on a church staff I had a leadership team that I ran all decisions through, that I talked every situation through with. That group gave me great checks and balances. We as a staff also had certain guidelines that we observed to protect ourselves, our marriages, etc. I still maintain those guidelines now out of love for God and respect for my husband and family. I’m hoping to grow that same kind of accountability with the board of directors of my non-profit in the coming months.

8. How do you develop other leaders?

How do I develop other leaders? In my present role, I’m currently investing in leaders around the world, but it’s not consistent. I can’t be with them every day. I teach them, I leave them materials, I follow up if possible but most of the time its not. When I was a worship pastor I had a good process I think – let them observe me, let us do it together, let me observe them, let them fly on their own with consistent training and feedback. I also look for leaders that can do things I cannot. This makes our team or my organization stronger. I’m a huge, huge proponent of shared leadership and so I’ve always practiced that in my leadership. I want that for the Give Worship Project as well.