Due to a massive amount of perseverance, I now give you my review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
I was initially horrified that Jane Austen’s name would grace the cover of that book … I mean just look at that picture. Then I found three reasons that gave me hope that it might not be a complete travesty after all. Once I started reading I quickly found three new reasons that my first assumptions were right on.
Here are my three new clues to this book being horrible.
1. The last sentence of the book description reads: “Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you’d actually want to read.”
Really?!?! “Something you’d actually want to read” !!!
2. The classic first line of the book (a line that is pure perfection) has now been changed to “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
OH MY GOSH!!
3. The 8th question in the Reader’s Discussion Guide in the back starts with:
“Vomit plays an important role in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”
I don’t think I need to add commentary to that.
With that said, I actually enjoyed the first 20 or 30 pages. I found myself actually smiling when Lizzy whipped a dagger out of her boot and proceeded to decapitate some zombies that crashed the ball. But another 30 pages in, that storyline was wearing thin … very thin. I almost quit altogether when Lizzy killed a ninja, ripped his heart out, and took a big bite.
But I was determined, so I put on my Twilight soundtrack and headphones hoping that an infusion of fabulous vampire tunes would help me finish. And I did it!
So, now, because I have read this book completely, I have now earned the right to say unashamedly:
THIS … BOOK … STINKS!
If this book sounds like something you might actually want to read, please don’t buy it. I will happily mail you my copy since I’m not about to let it sit next to my little Jane Austen action figure … it was a gift, don’t laugh!
And to the person who gave me this book. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. You know me well enough to know that, of course, I was going to have to read it. I would never be able to leave well enough alone. And I’ve read just about every other spin-off or sequel. You caught me just in time before I ran down to B&N. So, you get first crack at this book. It is yours to read first, if you want it.
All of that said, this isn’t the worst book I’ve ever read. Not even close actually. But it would certainly make my top 10 worst books. And since I can’t stand to read any more garbage, what was one of the worst books you’ve ever had to read? Let me know so I can avoid!
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