Comments on: Dear “help i’m sinking.” http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/ A WINDOW INTO LIFE IN LEADERSHIP Sun, 15 Nov 2009 02:47:05 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Anna http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/#comment-1504 Anna Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:31:35 +0000 http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/?p=1027#comment-1504 Thanks for the direction to A New Beginning. I knew I needed a resource if/when I come across a similar situation (again). Thanks for the direction to A New Beginning. I knew I needed a resource if/when I come across a similar situation (again).

]]> By: Vikki http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/#comment-1498 Vikki Thu, 04 Dec 2008 05:07:06 +0000 http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/?p=1027#comment-1498 I would advise Help I'm Sinking to read Cindy Beall's story at www.cindybeall.com. She has an amazing story and was given the following advice by a very wise pastor: “I would respect you if you felt that you needed to remove yourself from your marriage. What you’ve endured is very hard. But, you are not a fool to stay and be a part of the redemptive work in a man’s life.” I would advise Help I’m Sinking to read Cindy Beall’s story at http://www.cindybeall.com. She has an amazing story and was given the following advice by a very wise pastor:

“I would respect you if you felt that you needed to remove yourself from your marriage. What you’ve endured is very hard. But, you are not a fool to stay and be a part of the redemptive work in a man’s life.”

]]> By: Lori Wilhite http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/#comment-1489 Lori Wilhite Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:53:47 +0000 http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/?p=1027#comment-1489 Having walked this road ... way to many times ... with different friends. I usually find there isn't much to say. I usually just cry, say lots of "I love you" and "I would feel the same way" and "I'm so sorry." But we always direct people to A New Beginning (http://www.savemymarriage.com/). It is the best thing out there for couples in crisis that we've found. It has helped quite a few of our close friends start to find healing and begin to mend their marriages. Having walked this road … way to many times … with different friends. I usually find there isn’t much to say. I usually just cry, say lots of “I love you” and “I would feel the same way” and “I’m so sorry.” But we always direct people to A New Beginning (http://www.savemymarriage.com/). It is the best thing out there for couples in crisis that we’ve found. It has helped quite a few of our close friends start to find healing and begin to mend their marriages.

]]> By: Kimberly http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/#comment-1487 Kimberly Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:02:29 +0000 http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/?p=1027#comment-1487 Coming from a hauntingly similar situation, I would say, trust me GOD IS STILL GOD and He will still be there on the other side. I immersed myself in the Word, counseling, women's groups and supportive women. Take one breath at a time and keep reaching out for help. Coming from a hauntingly similar situation, I would say, trust me GOD IS STILL GOD and He will still be there on the other side. I immersed myself in the Word, counseling, women’s groups and supportive women. Take one breath at a time and keep reaching out for help.

]]> By: Anna http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/#comment-1486 Anna Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:59:28 +0000 http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/?p=1027#comment-1486 Kill him. Just kidding. (That's not the appropriate answer). I have a friend to whom this very thing happened. "help i'm sinking" has every right to leave him for his infidelity. What if she separated from him for a specified time in order to work it out? (The separation could be separate rooms or it could entail one of them actually moving out for a while). The man isn't even taking responsibility for his actions yet, so it's not likely that he's ready to work it out. If there isn't any consequence for his actions, then what will stop it from happening again? Her heart, I'm sure, is ripped apart, and it's not made any easier for her if she has to share his bed. During their separation, they should attend (Christian) counseling and there should be a very specific plan to move back to togetherness. What that plan is would depend on the couple and what they work out with their counselor. It's a scary world. "help i'm sinking" may wish to be checked for STDs or ask him to be checked. I'm praying for "help i'm sinking". Kill him. Just kidding. (That’s not the appropriate answer).

I have a friend to whom this very thing happened.

“help i’m sinking” has every right to leave him for his infidelity.

What if she separated from him for a specified time in order to work it out? (The separation could be separate rooms or it could entail one of them actually moving out for a while). The man isn’t even taking responsibility for his actions yet, so it’s not likely that he’s ready to work it out. If there isn’t any consequence for his actions, then what will stop it from happening again? Her heart, I’m sure, is ripped apart, and it’s not made any easier for her if she has to share his bed.

During their separation, they should attend (Christian) counseling and there should be a very specific plan to move back to togetherness. What that plan is would depend on the couple and what they work out with their counselor.

It’s a scary world. “help i’m sinking” may wish to be checked for STDs or ask him to be checked.

I’m praying for “help i’m sinking”.

]]> By: Rhonda Baker http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/dear-help-im-sinking/#comment-1484 Rhonda Baker Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:39:06 +0000 http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/?p=1027#comment-1484 This is a heart wrenching question. Yes, try to save the marriage but seek good Christian counseling and attend an intense marriage workshop. Her husband has to take responsibility, right now he's blaming the woman. Hello!!! Insist that all contact is cut off with the other woman even though she is hurt by that. If he wants to save the marriage, he will do whatever it takes. Remember forgiveness is an act of the will but often doesn't come until it is met by a contrite heart. Trust is the last thing to return. I suggest reading "Torn Asunder" by Dave Carder. Pray for your husband, yourself, and the other woman (a tough one). This is a heart wrenching question. Yes, try to save the marriage but seek good Christian counseling and attend an intense marriage workshop. Her husband has to take responsibility, right now he’s blaming the woman. Hello!!! Insist that all contact is cut off with the other woman even though she is hurt by that. If he wants to save the marriage, he will do whatever it takes. Remember forgiveness is an act of the will but often doesn’t come until it is met by a contrite heart. Trust is the last thing to return. I suggest reading “Torn Asunder” by Dave Carder. Pray for your husband, yourself, and the other woman (a tough one).

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