It is no secret that I’ve been watching The Bachelorette. Since it just has a few weeks left, I’ve been thinking about how long you should really know someone before you get engaged. Heck, I think the taping of that show is about a month from the first meeting to the final rose ceremony, and lots of them end in some kind of engagement which is quickly broken off.
Jud and I were quick. We got engaged 5 months after we met and had our first date. But I would have told him “yes” if he had asked me after 2 months. I mean, I’m not stupid. I knew I had a gem! But we totally think people should probably date a year before they are engaged. Hypocritical? You bet. But really a year is probably best. Isn’t it? Well, let’s find out.
If you are married, how long did you date before you got engaged? And if you are single, what do you think the appropriate amount of time is?
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Tommy and I were engaged 4 months after our first date. We met 3 months prior to dating. I have no regrets, but I agree at least a year of dating would probably be best. When you know, you know!
My hubby and I dated for quite some time, about a year and half. Had he asked me to marry him after a few months of dating I would have said yes in a heartbeat. I knew from the moment we began dating I couldn’t live without him. We are definitely opposites, but we give each other a little something that neither one of us have. I don’t know that I could put a time limit on how long couples should date before getting married because I can honestly say that over the past 8 years, I continue to learn more and more about my hubby. I know a few couples that got married after knowing each other for three weeks and have been happily married now for ten years. This was a tough question to answer, I bet I will cont. to ponder about it for a while. But I do agree with Donna, when you know…you know! Thank you for posing that question.
Don’t have a clue. Marc and I met at 15 and 16. A year after we graduated from high school we were married. We have now been together over 26 years. Even after we officially started dating he said within a few months I would be his wife. A year later we were man and wife!And even then as much as I thought I knew him it took many years before we “knew” each other. He says I evolve each day (sort of agree, and can say the same about him). We have matured a lot since that 1st day of marriage. I think that’s the thing people have the biggest problem with in marriage. They expect that person they married to stay the same.
Jason and I dated for 4 years before we got engaged. But I was 17 when we started dating
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Yes-I agree at least a year. You need a really good knock down fight before you say yes.
G
Hubby and I dated almost a year and a half before he proposed. We had a long engagement (year+4months). He was finishing college and I told him I wouldn’t marry him until after graduation, so we were married 2 weeks after he graduated….crazy way to plan a wedding, in the midst of senior projects, etc.
We just celebrated 15 years of marriage last week and hope to be together for 50 more!
sam and i dated 2 1/2 years before we were engaged…then we were engaged for a year. i think a year is a good amount of time for most people, but i think some people need more/less time. gretchen’s right, a good fight is important!
Mike and I dated a year before we married, but I had my eyes on him two years before that! I chased him ’til he caught me.
Experts say, “Date through the seasons.”
It seems I learned as much about myself as I did about Mike in that first year of marriage. NOTHING can really prepare you for it, which is part of its beauty.
We dated for two years before we got engaged, and then we were engaged for eight months. That, in Bible college years, is like a decade.
And we definitely had plenty of fights in that time. Honestly, though, I probably knew for sure after just a few months, as cheesy as that sounds.
Ok Donna is currently winning for the shortest amount of time dating before engagement. Although they did know each other longer than we did. Jud and I met on our first date. But, 4 months still beats our 5 as far as speediness goes.
And Gretchen you are currently winning for the longest amount of time dating. Wow … 4 years! That’s impressive!
How about everyone else?
My husband and I met in July ‘99, were engaged in February ‘00 and married in July ‘00. We were engaged 5 months and knew each other exactly 1 year and 11 days when we got married.
My hubby and I dated for 4 months before he proposed… we just knew. Then we were engaged for 11 months… So a little over a year from the time we started dating until we were married.
We got engaged after 5 months of dating and married after 8 months of engagement. I would say that when you’ve prayed about it and you know that God has chosen you to be together and you are committed to living for Him, time doesn’t really matter. But when you take Christ outside of the equation of marriage, time probably does make a really big difference.
Cameron and I were friends for roughly a year before we started dating. 2 weeks into the official dating phase we talked about marriage. So we “knew” extrememly early we were committed to each other. Exactly a year from our first date we got engaged. A year later we got married. School was our only determining factor. We waiting until I graduated and got married 2 weeks later. We would have gotten married much sooner if we hadn’t had to wait on that. So 2 years from start to finish. We celebrated 10 years last month.
Josh and I grew up in the same church from about junior high on, so we knew each other a long time. We started dating in college. 2 months in was a promise ring, 5 months later engagement, then 10 months after that we were married.
we dated for a year before we got engaged then married 8 months after that….. like you would have said yes after a month or so …i knew it was right!!
Kenyon and I dated for 8 months before we got engaged and then got married 5 months later. We knew before our first date that we were going to marry each other. I think answering this question is difficult. I think when you know you know, but I know a lot of people “think” they “know” when they don’t. The only reason I encourage short dating and engagement time is because we both really, really, really….(did I say really) struggled with purity while dating. I have never seen the point in long engagements, unless you are seventeen or something.:)
We dated 6 weeks before Chris proposed in Dec. 1993. Soon thereafter he talked to my dad and gave me my official ring in March 1994. Got married in Dec. 1994. So we were engaged a little over a year. We will celebrate 15 years of marriage in Dec.
We met and were married in 58 days! I met Eric on August 25th 1989, I accepted Christ on September 19th, ( He say’s he was mission dating) we were married on October 22nd. He asked me 3 times before I accepted. We celebrate 20 years this October. (:
I can’t believe I am the still longest! We had a 14 month engagement too-after 4 years of dating. I guess I like to take is slow.
That would explain why almost 5 years into our marrige-no kids yet
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Oh my gosh Jayne … somehow I’m not surprised knowing you guys! But that is awesome. Eric knew what a great catch he had found if he asked you 3 times within 2 months!
And yep, Gretchen you are still winning the longest. You two must be massively patient!
We dated for 8 months and were engaged for 1 year!
dave and i dated for a little over 3 years and were engaged for 1.5 years before we got married. we started dating while i was in high school and so we had to date a while. I think it was so hard at the time but the best thing we could have done. i tell people i am not sure we would have made it if we didnt have that long courting period.
Katie and I dated for 18 months, were engaged for 10 months, and will celebrate our 3 year anniversary next week!
we met at 19, dated for two years, got engaged and were married almost a year later at 22. we both wanted to graduate college before getting married in fact, i skipped graduation, so instead of walking the line i walked the aisle!
we dated 6mo before we were engaged. We were married 1yr and 4 mo. after our 1st date. I don’t think there is an appropriate time. All my firends have different stories and paths – and so far all are still married about 10 years later.
Tim and I dated for a year and 4 months before he asked me to marry him. We were engaged for 9 months before we got married. The only thing we did fast was begin dating. We started dating almost from the moment we met.
Dusty and I dated for 5 months before he proposed and then we had a 9 month engagement. It was way too long of an engagement, but I had to finish college before getting married.
But, we were friends for 4 years before we started dating. The day that we started dating, he called my dad and asked permission to date me. He wanted to make it very clear taht his intentions weren’t to merely take me on a few dates for fun, but he had intentions of marrying me from day one.
By the way, I cried my eyes out the day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I thought one of 2 things was going to happen (and they both scared me to death): either it wouldn’t work out, and I would probably end up losing a good friend (b/c it wold be too awkward to still be friends after dating), or it would work out and I would be getting married very soon. I was so freaked out.
We’ve now been married 5.5 years.